cedar’s blog

Cedar July 30th, 2007

Here’s a new painting for you:
Sailboats at Sunset
18″ x 36″ Oil on Canvas

It’s at times like these I wish I were a better writer. I’ve been undergoing a transformation that is hard to describe. There is an amorphous blob of energy building…in my mind? my body? (somewhere, it’s hard to say…maybe in my spirit, whatever that is.) This blob of energy is hard to define, but I know I’ve never quite felt anything like it in my life, and I know it is an impetus to action. And I know I am definitely going to use it as soon as I figure out what to do with it.

Maybe it will come out through my artwork, or maybe in other areas of my life. Maybe I’m using it already just by talking about it. It is big and it is positive! Maybe what I’m describing is just HOPE, plain and simple.

If you haven’t seen this yet, it’s worth watching, and it touches on this thing that has been happening inside me:
(It’s a video, about 5 minutes long.)
http://theshiftmovie.com/index2.html

Also, if you have not seen the movie The U.S. vs. John Lennon, I recommend it. If you’re just a little bit older than me, you were there when John Lennon was alive. When he died, I was a 6-week-old fetus in the womb.

Ever since I was a teenager I have envied the previous generation for having things like John Lennon. When compared to the previous generation, I think my generation is just as angry about war and injustice and all the evil things we see and hear about, and I think we’re just as good and we want good changes to happen just as much.

The difference is, we have somehow been conditioned to believe there is nothing we can do, and we don’t seem to have many people like John Lennon to remind us that feelings of anger and futility just exacerbate the problem, and that channeling our energy constructively, even if it doesn’t result in direct change (which it can) is still a lot better than feeling hopeless all the time.

Feelings of hopelessness have been festering inside me for years, fueled every time I hear about or see lives destroyed for no reason, the environment damaged for greed, people in power stepping on everyone else to get ahead–and on a smaller, more localized level, people around me full of hatred, disgust and apathy, fighting with each other over petty differences.

Ignorance, violence, greed and hatred–nasty, terrible things are everywhere I look, and it’s easy to get into the habit of believing that I’m just an ordinary person and there’s nothing I can do about any of it. But I am now starting to believe that ordinary people can make real changes by doing ordinary things. These things can be as simple as changing our attitudes or encouraging others to be positive. It can be as simple as recognizing that you have a voice and deciding to use it.

Check out this website: http://www.gratefulness.org/p/worldpeace.cfm

I don’t know specifically how to help create world peace, preserve our Earth, and eliminate inequality, but I know that I want to, and I know I’m not alone. Maybe humanity is not doomed after all.

If none of this blog resonates with you, then I’m probably just doing a poor job of saying it, because this desire for change is so strong in me and so evident in a lot of the people I know.

You can do something positive today, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential. You have probably seen this before (it’s been emailed back and forth for the last decade) but it doesn’t hurt to read it again: The Global Village

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Cedar July 23rd, 2007

Ugh. Bleh. Today I am sick with a sore throat/cold and I have that weird sluggish feeling where my body is taken over and it’s like I’m detached from myself and observing everything from some distance. I don’t feel like doing anything but lying on the couch buried in a mound of blankets and pillows, watching movies all day while my Mama keeps the ginger tea and cinnamon toast coming. If only…

I am also sunburned at the moment so my skin is burning hot, which I think exacerbates that feverish detached feeling.

I went to the beach yesterday with friends…to Assateague Island. We saw wild ponies. We grilled chicken hot dogs, corn on the cob, and chunks of veggies and paneer (Indian cheese) on skewers. The waves on the beach were pretty raucous, and we got hammered by them something fierce when we braved the water. My dog was scared by the waves (with good reason) but still made many valiant attempts to take them on. I lay on the beach reading my novel in the sun for hours, which was lovely and relaxing and pleasant, but because I was kind of out of it from being sick, I forgot to apply sunscreen and got broiled.

My 26th birthday is tomorrow. I’m not celebrating it till this weekend though…my husband and some friends are taking me camping all weekend. I am really excited about that.

Then the weekend after, I am going whitewater rafting. And the week after that I’ll be going to the Outer Banks for a family reunion. I’m meeting with a new gallery next week. This summer is such a whirlwind that I can hardly keep it straight.

As far as my painting, I am working on a few themes at once right now. In order to stay at least somewhat focused/productive, I have made a very cursory list of things that inspire me. The idea is to remember to keep coming back to these things, thinking about them, and using them whenever I get stuck, which is quite often.

In no particular order:

The Sun, the Moon, the Stars
Dawn & Dusk: Night vs. Day
Changing Light
Growth: Upwards & Outwards
Birth, Death, Cycles
Flying & Things that Fly
Breath, Wind, Inhalation/Exhalation
Backlighting & Contrast
Clouds
Rolling Waves (in Air, Water, Foliage, & Topography)
Images of Abundance, Sexuality, Fertility, Fullness & Joy
Solitude
Feminine Mystery
Independence & Strength
Boldness & Audacity
Peace vs. Conflict
Storms
Circles
Spears & other Pointy Shapes
Sources of Life, Life Force (Energy/Mother Nature)
Emotive Color Schemes
Vastness

This is of course an extremely incomplete and not well-thought-out list, but I thought I would share it with you to give you a glimpse of where my art comes from and what makes me tick.

I have found that if I successfully focus on one or more of these themes while making a painting, from the planning stage until completion of the work, I can’t fail.

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Cedar July 11th, 2007

Each of these paintings includes a cozy little house in the distance. On road trips, I have driven past breathtaking views of the beautiful farmland in this country, and from time to time I’ve noticed little houses like this, perched on top of a hill, overlooking lush meadows and fields spread out over the valley like a living quilt, with cool mountains looming in all directions. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to live in one of those houses and look out on such splendor every day.

All are 18″ x 36″, oil on canvas.

Fertile Valley

Farmland in Bloom

Purple Mountain Springtime

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Cedar July 7th, 2007

This is what I harvested from my garden today:

I think it’s time for some cheddar zucchini casserole and some homemade jalapeño hot sauce. And some garlicky pesto made from basil from my garden….maybe spread on French bread and served with mozzarella and slices of vine-ripened tomato…mmmm….

I made 2 new paintings this week, but I’m not sure they’re quite done. I’ll show them to you next week once they’re signed and everything.

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Cedar July 5th, 2007

This is just a quick little entry today. I feel like I’ve barely had time to think this week…I have to look at my calendar to tell you what day it is and what I’m supposed to be doing. Last Saturday we went out of town for a family event and got home very late Saturday night.

Then I hung my show on Sunday morning and had my opening on Sunday night. It was fun! (I didn’t get any good pictures because by the time I remembered to take pictures, the place was closing and we were getting kicked out. I’m sorry!) The show looks good though, I met some new people, and everything went pretty smoothly. The paintings will be up all month, so if you’ll be in the DC area anytime in July you can still go see them.

Monday, my mother-in-law came to visit, and my husband, dog and I all went camping with her in Pennsylvania. I hadn’t been camping in a long time, and I really enjoyed it. Sleeping on the ground was remarkably comfortable, and poking at a campfire, listening to birds, and breathing clean air was all so peaceful. Now I want to go camping again, but for longer next time.

So we got home from camping last night and watched fireworks. We just watched some little local ones from our front yard, and didn’t have a very good view of them, but still. Today, my friend from out of town was visiting and I spent most of the day catching up with her.

All of this time I have had this blank canvas sitting on my easel staring at me, and simply haven’t had time to paint anything on it.

I’ve got a meeting with a new gallery lined up a few weeks from now, to show them some artwork in person. The problem is I don’t have any artwork. My house is usually crammed full of artwork, paintings filling all available wall space and even stacked on the floor in my back room. At the moment though, pretty much all of my inventory is either displayed in a show, or up for sale in art galleries–which is a good thing. But now I have to do a lot of painting in a short amount of time, and it needs to get done whether I have out-of-town visitors or not, no matter what else is going on in my life, whether I feel inspired to paint or not.

Sooo….that’s where I am right now. I have this long to-do list of tasks that are small but still annoying, like “get eyeglasses repaired” and “take dog to vet for vaccine” and “buy whatever thing we’re out of.” I need to take care of all these annoying but necessary errands and chores that have been accumulating on top of everything else, and I’m feeling generally tired and frazzled, so maybe I should meditate or something.

But after I meditate, I’m gonna paint.

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